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Well I am going to be a Dad!


3FordFamily

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Hey its all good I joke about it all the time so I'm over. My wife at times disagrees that I'm over it but she is a rock star and puts up with me so she its all good. I've got four kids now and some day they will see that I was/am a pretry cool step dad as well.

 

Kids are the reason we do what we do.

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Hey its all good I joke about it all the time so I'm over. My wife at times disagrees that I'm over it but she is a rock star and puts up with me so she its all good. I've got four kids now and some day they will see that I was/am a pretry cool step dad as well.

 

Kids are the reason we do what we do.

My peers have long made fun of me for my life turnaround ( I was the biggest screw up --- EVER in HS and a couple years after) I did it all for my future children - to make sure I could provide them socially, physically, and financially in ways I wasn't provided. My father did the absolute best he could have, but I will fill in the gaps for my next generation. I have said for years (without any kids) that I do all of this for my children. People always look at me crazy I didn't have any!

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So that when we say "Dont do that and here is why!" Haha

 

Then they say "well you did it and turned ok"

 

Geez...... lol!

I was worried about that-- but for all of my downfalls I never got in to gangs, I've never even tried a drug, never been wasted drunk (nor had a hang over), and I "started" getting buzzed once or twice a year in my mid 20s, never smoked a cigarette.

 

Now I had a BIG mouth, got in a lot of fights, I vandalized as an early teen (government property like signs and stuff not personal property although I now know who pays for all that crap -- US/ME.. and not often but still), I used to sneak out at night and throw pebbles at police cars and run from them for fun every single night in the summer just for the rush and got really good at it... when they finally got me for sneaking out once I stopped, I was friends with the WRONG kids, I only chose the good girl in school (now my wife), I had like a .04 GPA, I have stories from high school that would make many of you cry laughing because I just didn't care and did WHATEVER I wanted, I skipped school frequently, I had ZERO respect for police and bad mouthed them and lashed out when I was pulled over (verbally) basically tearing them down to defenseless children because I found it a fun challenge to teeter that edge and going to jail (didn't happen but twice and no charges ever came..), I mean I just pushed the envelope to do it.

 

NOW you see my ensuing worry. So while when you read the first couple sentences you thought to yourself "Oh, this kid wasn't so bad" Then you read the rest and thought "WTF was wrong with him?". It's all about mentality. I let childhood demons and bad things that happened be an excuse to live life with a victim mentality and act like society owed me something in return. The reality was I was only screwing myself over.

 

I got to 308lbs too, eating my emotions, and then lost it in 5.5 months during my life turnaround. I will never go back but boy oh boy do I have some parenting gaps to fill up. So when I saw the female parts on the ultrasound, i was a LITTLE relieved.. my wife was the PERFECT kid, had a PERFECT life and behaved WONDERFULLY (aside from dating an idiot like myself). It all worked out but we know it often does not. I always tell my wife I wish I could talk to kids and encourage them to try in school and see things the way I did when I changed.

 

I eventually got my GED, did well at my first year in college, eventually got in to Kelley School of Business after kicking butt, and graduating 3.45 with dual majors in marketing and international business and a minor in econ. I did it in 4 years but it was so hard given I didn't learn how to learn in highschool. It was lonely too I had no real friends - aside my wife (gf at the time).

 

Anyway so yeah, you know why I worry. If this is genetic I am screwed. My wife is ornery too (just was compliant as a child). Sigh

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